Kimba

Amen, sista!

Today we were discussing the latest news headlines before heading off to a movie. My little sister, Emily, overheard us talking about (shh!!!) Bird Flu and said, "Aww, man! I don't want Bird Flu!!"

And we all had to agree with her.

Hot Topic

I went to the first of many parties tonight, a yearly get together with the girls I grew up with in my ward (read: church group). The conversation went quickly from hi's and how have you been's? to cat's anal glands, peeing your pants, and hemorrhoids.

I'd say the party was a success.

(Except for that I couldn't find the grapefruit knife I'd purchased just two days ago to cut out the lemons for the risotto I made (recipe to come, it's a good one!), I'd forgotten to bring my white cooking wine and also forgot to pick some up yesterday, and also neglected to add the Parmesan cheese & salt and pepper. I was a mess. Thankfully the recipe is forgiving and hard to screw up. My OCD was just in overdrive, that's all. I think my parents got their first taste of it.)

You can't find these kind of people just anywhere. People you can hang out with after not seeing each other for a year and pick up like you'd just watched Dinosaurs (oh the memories!) and were now about to settle down with a nice bowl of ice cream and talk about what it would be like to have your period.

One of the girls brought over a movie we'd unfortunately made while on a weekend trip to her cabin when we were about 12 or 13. 7 girls and one very forgiving mother. I don't know how she survived. I only remember a few parts of that trip, have wisely blocked it out of my memory, or had, until tonight. We were playing house, and play-fighting, and talking about boys, and pretending to eat dinner together. I'll just let your mind run wild with that. Oh, and also? Every single one of us were on our periods. I don't think I need to say any more about that.

It's a wonder our husbands are still with us after witnessing that, that's all I'm sayin'. True love people, true love.

Over the river and through the woods

I have not seen my pillow this week before 12:30. Last night I was up until 2 am finishing up last minute projects (one of which is STILL not done! Seriously people, I'm gonna lose my cool soon), getting the house ready to be alone for 12 days, packing up the car, and driving myself completely insane with last minute lists and holy-crap-I-know-I'm-forgetting-something-ness. So there I am, settling myself into bed, Caleb snoring soundly next to me, and I'm setting my alarm for 3:30. AM. That's an hour and a half folks, if I'm doing my math right which given the circumstances, I don't know, I could be wrong....but there it is. I got an hour and a half of sleep last night. Maybe less.

The drive home went fabulous though, no stops (besides Caleb's pee-breaks every hour I SWEAR) or accidents or copious amounts of snow. We arrived home just in time for the first of nine gajillion parties and / or get togethers I've got planned this week. Oh, hi! It's been so long! I know, I know...actually, if I could just hurry and go change out of my pajamas....

Needless to say, it's 10 pm and we're in bed. Like, I'm literally typing this in bed while Caleb groans for me to please finish already so he can hog the blankets already.

I am so thankful for double-paned windows. Caleb gets a break from his nightly duty of warming up my near frost bitten toes. He says that's the worst part of his day, when I giddily (is that a word?) tuck my feet under his warm legs.

Secretly? It's my favorite part.

Oh, and it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I am so glad to be home.

How charming!

Never in my entire life did I imagine I'd find myself in the middle of a beer and wine warehouse with the intent to buy something. (Supplies, people, supplies. I promise.) I also didn't ever expect to be face to face with a bottle of beer (or something akin to beer) that contained a real live dead cobra biting the head of an offending snake-peer. I asked the man at the counter if the brewers of this stuff were serious, and he assured me that in Laos they were very serious, and that not only had he tasted it before, but that it tasted like s&*%. Yes, I imagine it would, sir. Now will you please hand me my bag? I'd like to go throw up a little bit in my mouth...

The lengths I'll go to complete my Christmas projects. I'm a big deal, people.

The 411

I have been totally MIA these last few days, except to tell you that boy am I stressed with all the holiday cheer and whatnot that's going on around here. Last night for instance, I was at my wonderful friend Bridgette's house until well after midnight working on one Christmas project, forcing both her and her husband to stay up late and lose their precious sleep. She's a fabulous friend, helping me and keeping me from slipping into a serious OCD state. Otherwise I would probably still be huddled in the corner mumbling incoherently.

As it is, I can't even manage to sit and finish a post. I've started about 4 over the last day or so and then been interrupted, or suddenly it's midnight and the only thing I can think about is B.E.D. I started this post earlier today, at around, oh, 9 am, and I sit here at 11:57 finally forcing myself to finish. I just so happen to be up working on Christmas Project #783. I'm experiencing some technical difficulties, wrong files, freezing programs, and missing information, which is fairly typical, nothing I do plods along without some kind of possible catastrophe. It usually works itself out in the end. Right?

In other news, yesterday was my second fertility appointment, this time to see if the Clomid had done it's job. It has, 4 times over, much to Caleb's dismay. You mean...there's four?! Everything about this process has to do with timing, and there's a lot of hurry-up-and-wait that goes on. All I know is that for possibly the first time ever my ovaries are doing their job, which would explain the cramps, wouldn't it?  My, was that a pleasant experience this morning. Especially while unloading an entire office in San Francisco in the pouring rain.

Speaking of which, do you know how out of place you feel in your grunge clothes in the city as all the beautiful people walk by in their peacoats and wellies? I looked like a drowned rat.

Which is also a good look to sport while at the hair salon. I swear my hair doesn't usually look like this, you see I was in the city today loading a 400 pound filing cabinet in a too-small cargo van...

People just sort of smile and nod when you ramble off like that. Sort of like I'm doing now. Alright, time to buckle down again...combat The Great and Abominable Internet. You know. The usual.

Pursuit of happiness

Favorite guess to last night's Pop Culture Trivial Pursuit Game:

"Ye Olde Cat Food"

It's possible that it may only be funny at midnight, when you've been playing Trivial Pursuit for nine gazillion hours. I found it quite hilarious for a good ten minutes.

I'm going to go now, because I may be experiencing the early signs of a stress-induced mental breakdown. We leave for the Christmas holiday in 6 days, leaving me 5 to work with and finish all 10 major projects I've put upon myself this year. I was supposed to be done by Thanksgiving, that was my original lofty goal, and somehow everything has come down to the wire. Again. 'Tis the season, right? I'm going to go lie down now. And stare at the ceiling until 3 am.

Oh, Marvin...

First of all, in response to Amber's comment, I totally agree. Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing that rumor (it was a rumor at the time) that the bodies for the Body Worlds Exhibit weren't donated. I think it is completely unethical, and hope that they have righted their ways. I believe they have, there was a section at the end talking about donating your body if you felt so inclined. Thanks Amber! Again, totally unethical.

But.

Wow.

Like, wow.

I have never been so in awe, so overwhelmed, so completely enthralled. It was absolutely amazing, and I want to go back and see it all over again. The way they preserve the bodies and dissect them is just so incredible, and I felt like the exhibits were done very nicely, very respectful. (Sorry Amber!) If you have the opportunity to go, take it! I wish I could travel around and see all the exhibits, it's breathtaking. The human body is the most fascinating thing, it truly is.

But, enough of my gushing, let's discuss the day, shall we?

We'll start with the frigid temperatures this morning, because that really started my day. No, wait, back that up, let's discuss how I was supposed to wake up at 6:15 to get ready and be out the door by 7:15 so that I could be in Sunnyvale (a mere 10 miles away) by 7:45 am to meet the 8 little teenagers my coworker and I would be in charge of. Caleb shook me awake at 6:48 am. We opened up our bedroom door (alright, I swung it open wildly) to find frost on the ground. FROST! Here! In Cali! I don't believe I need to remind you that our house has no insulation, and that our windows are single paned. We keep a heater on all night long in our bedroom, creating a wonderful little cocoon of warmth that leaves us completely unprepared for the freezing cold that is our entire house each morning.

Anyway.

Thankfully traffic on the 101 wasn't too bad this morning (101 freeway, in case you weren't aware, is usually horrendous during rush hour. Avoid at all costs, if you can) and I managed to arrive on time, with only damp hair. My car said it was 36 degrees. To make a long story short, we discovered we would be walking to the light rail station, which would take us to the Tech Museum and the Body Worlds Exhibit. The light rail station was a good mile away, across several busy streets and one highway. I was not prepared for a mile long walk in 36 degree weather with an extremely bum knee. The light rail was only a tad warmer, as was the exhibit and the museum. In fact, the only time I've been warm today is during the 45 minute IMAX movie we saw. It's 9:37 at night and our home is 66 degrees, the heater apparently deciding to give up in the frigid temperature.

Anyway.

My kids, actually, were really good. We tried to round them up several times during the day, count them all, and release them again. "Have you seen kid in the grey sweater? What about girl with white headband? And Raiders guy? I just saw blue and red kid, so we've got him..." and so on and so forth. Eventually we learned their names, I promise. 

It was really strange to be around junior high school students, to remember what it was like, like your friends were the most important thing in the world, that you wanted to be friends with the boys, but only sometimes. I watched a group of three girls rush up to their friends and ask if they'd just seen the young "super hot" security guard walk by. "We're going to follow HIM around!" they squealed and literally took off, poor guy.  My second favorite part was wandering the displays and watching one boy walk from one exhibit to the next pointing out all of the "man-parts" (my little sister reads this blog, so humor me, I can say the word without giggling) to his little friend saying, "That one's small, that one's really small, that one's an okay size..." and then consequently watching his little friend's face taking in that information. I hope he doesn't develop a complex.

The girls also had some issues with the jibbly bits, (okay, so that one was for fun) as you can imagine, some staring quite a long time, their faces twisted into a mix of confusion and disgust. Poor things.

After the exhibit we wandered around The Tech Museum, which has a lot of great exhibits about technology (in the Silicon Valley! Go figure!) and is very hands-on and fun for the kids. And for me. I was there making my own car work and trying to design a bob-sled course with the kiddies. If you're in the area, check it out! The cafe is lovely as well.

The last activity was the IMAX movie called The Human Body which was equally fascinating, especially when they put a camera into the heart, allowing you to watch the mitral and tricuspid valve work their thing.

There was one part of the film however, that may or may not have been appropriate for young minds. That would be the scene where you see the sperm swimming upstream on their wonderful journey, the background a lovely sensuous red color, as, and I'm not kidding you, Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" blasts over the 18,000 watt surround sound speakers.

I don't believe I need to tell you how well that went over with the 200 junior high school students.

Field Trip

Pros: Getting in free to the Body Worlds Exhibit.

Cons: Having to wrangle a bunch of junior high school kids while getting in free to the Body Worlds Exhibit.

Can't wait to see their faces when they find that these bodies are anatomically correct.

Wish me luck. I'm going to need it today.

How To: Child Distraction

This edition, how to entertain a little boy whose naptime may or may not have been over an hour earlier.

First option? iPhone: Sesame Street episodes. Stat.

Second? LED light chasing. Like the bunny to the greyhound...

Entertainment for hours. And hours. And hours.

(Disclaimer: Owen was neither horrendous nor whiney. But he was thoroughly entertained. So. I submit that this will work for others. Amen.)

Extreme Gingerbread Makeover: Estate Edition 2007

A random sampling of building materials

Sour tape, gummy rings, candy Lego's, mini Jujube's. Or so you think. (Thank you Powell's!)

And now I give you....

Bridgette's "Psychedelic Sidewalk" submission:

I love the trees, so innovative! 100 points for Bridgette.

And now, Mark's was-going-to-be-Frank Lloyd Wright-but-then-I-think-he-changed-his-mind:

You can tell he does this kind of thing for a living. Double points for the gummy archway there in the corner, and the uber fabulous grass roof.

Caleb's I-don't-get-into-this-kind-of-thing submission:

I do love the deco Necco's though. And that walkway....mmm...work of art!

Mi casa. I am especially proud of my wreath, however precariously it hangs, thanks to Bridgette for her help.

Here, we have a candy snowman building his own snowman, the black top hat (use your imagination!) waiting in the wings...

My wreath! And my truck! And check out that icicle...deadly!

Here, I stoically present my artwork.

It didn't last for long, my stoicism.

We very nearly used this as our Christmas card photo. At the last moment, we came to our senses. Too humiliating! I'll just post it online then...

The City

I believe yesterday we may have hit the record for jamming the most holiday activities into a 24 hour period. Ever. I met Bridgette at the mall at 8:15, because that's when it opened, if you can believe it, and we wanted to return our two items before the nine thousand other holiday shoppers swarmed in. Macy's opened at 7, is that ridiculous to anyone else? It's not Black Friday, it's just December. Anyway. After that we rounded up the troops and made our way to Room and Board, my new favorite guilty pleasure. That part isn't really holiday related, more like we-need-to-find-a-couch related. One that has a working leg and fits more than two people.

A few weeks ago we had a few guys from our church come over to visit, and one of them brought their 12 year old son, and all three of them crammed onto the couch, despite our pleading to use our kitchen chair, which incidentally sat unused the entire hour they were over. I have never felt more uncomfortable, winced each time one of them tried to eek out a few extra millimeters of room. Uh...oh...nope. None.

Also? They haven't been back since. Hmm....

Anyway, so after we wandered, me drooling, through my mecca and possibly settling on a REAL LIVE COUCH THAT WE LOVE THAT IS EXPENSIVE, YES, BUT IS MODERN AND COMFORTABLE AND ALSO MADE WELL we made a quick stop at McDonald's. What better way to celebrate our first real live trip with the troops (including a 17 mth old) to the city than a kids meal at McDonald's....

Pause for air...

Then we drove the few blocks to peruse the window display at Macy's which is hosted every year by the USPCA. They lure you in with puppies and kittens oh my! and all of a sudden you find yourself walking out with one. That's the idea at least. Except we didn't, probably because all they had were kittens and I don't want to know what would happen if we tried to bring a real live cat right into our home. Bear would probably suffer some kind of cerebral hemorrhage. A CAT. In the HOUSE. Also? I can't do cats. They're furry. And that's it. They deposit fur on your furniture and clothes. That's all I can come up with.

We were prepared to have an insanely difficult time, what with all the gazillion people who also decided to see the windows at Macy's in downtown San Francisco (I know, it still sounds crazy to me) and little Owen and parking and walking, and yeah. We didn't though, we found a parking spot in the garage across the street, walked right over, saw the kitties, took a few shots, and called it good. It was great! We saw the crazies, one hurling his spit as he yelled at us (we gave him a wide berth, he cleared some serious distance with that spittle) the four story tree inside Neiman Marcus, and a LOT of people. Watch out for them shoppers, they'll 'git you with their stuffed shopping bags. Just a heads up.

We drove home completely exhausted, Owen slept the whole way, and settled in for a lovely evening of soup and gingerbread estate making. (More on that later.)

But? We discovered that it IS possible to hit the city on the weekend with a little boy and his nap schedule. I'd call that a victory. 1 point for us!

We were all so thrilled....

Mmm......

  Takin' a break for some stackin' action

Going....up?

Stats

So, yesterday was my first real live fertility appointment and without going into all the gory details, I am now on Clomid on a trial basis. Wahoo. He also had me pick up a few vials to bring with me when I go back in a week to find out if my hormones have sufficiently righted themselves, or at the very least, been tricked into doing their jobs. I think that means I can look forward to two very large shots, among other pleasantries. As we got in the car to head home, Caleb asked me how I was, having the brokenness of my ovaries confirmed and all, and after I told him I was fine he immediately launched into the part when he found out the results of his test.

"Did you see that? Well above average. I bet they opened the lid and they jumped out. (insert boy noises, silencer style) Probably impregnated some of the ladies in the room."

The Call

My sister has decided to serve a mission for our church, and got her call today! She'll be serving in Richmond, VA and leaves February 6th! I'm so proud of you Kathy! You'll be an excellent missionary.

(when I searched for Richmond, VA on Google Images I found this gorgeous picture, and also the one below. Eh?)

Evidence

Yesterday it was 70 degrees. 70! I went on a walk with Bear at lunch in my short-sleeved shirt and was HOT. I know I already posted about this oddity, but this time I took the camera.

I love this about where we live. All the homes are so old, the insulation obsolete, we have to stash wood to burn when it's cold. (And sometimes it is! I swear! Alright, not COLD, but cool enough.)

Green ivy and holiday bows.

Some of the leaves are finally starting to change. As of December 3rd.

Reminds me of Littlefoot. For some reason.

Ah! And this tree!! I've been searching online to find out what in the world it is, it's tall, with red, green, and yellow balls. Inside them is this ooey, gooey orange stuff. It's odd, but gorgeous. Anyone know what it is?

Before I squished it. I like to squish them.

Outside of a cute little shop near our home. On my walk, of course. Bear was drooling as we passed by...

This sums it up nicely, don't you think?

Deck the halls

Prior to the sudden sickness, we bought our Christmas tree and began decorating, with lovely festive (festival! We were so very festival!) music in the background.

Here we are, trying out a Christmas card idea I had. It didn't work. We look lame cheesy, instead of funny cheesy. Oh well.

Here I am, stringing the lights while Caleb watches. This was about two minutes before I realized we need about 4 more boxes of lights. And........back to the car! Go!

A few of the decorations, and the colors I chose. I am a sucker for green.

And here we are, tieing the fishing wire through the ornaments, lovingly provided by Ikea. Because they would like every couple who purchases their ornaments to require marriage counseling. Because the wives force their husbands to help tie ornaments, even though they can only tie one for every three you tie. Granted, you have smaller fingers. And he isn't as interested in ornaments, would rather watch Kicking and Screaming.

Or something like that. Not that I would know.

This is one of my favorite ornaments. It's just so...sparkly. My friend Abby would love it, as she has a deep, deep love for glitter. Very, very deep love.

Before settling on serious, he took a few psychedelic shots.

This one's my favorite. Like...it's commin' atcha! Ooh! You're scared of the tree!! (channeling Liar Liar here....in case I lost you...I tend to live via movie quotes.)

The finished product. All serious-like. Please excuse the errant cord there, we live in an old home that doesn't believe in having more than two outlets in a room. (Caleb worked hard to get this shot! He's pretty good, no?)

I would like to thank Osh, Ikea, and Orange-Glo hardwood floor cleaner for making this happen. From the bottom of my heart.

Thirty nine and a half foot pole

I didn't mean to miss a day, it wasn't my intention to go, "Woohoo! Nablopomo is over! I'm off!" In fact, I had a rather fun idea I came up with and had planned to post late last night. We had a long day yesterday, full of errands and tree shopping and decorating and dinner and all that, and sometime between 8 and 11 pm, Caleb and I got sick. Sick, sick, sick. We didn't go to church today, I didn't head down to Monterrey like I was supposed to (for a co-worker's retirement party), we just laid in bed. Sick. It seems to have hit us differently, Caleb has a sore throat and the usual head congestion and I feel okay, just that someone's sucked the life out of me. About the only thing we've done is sleep and eat, and eat well, oddly enough. Caleb woke up and said he'd make us some eggs (because I accidentally bought another carton of eggs, bringing our total number to 26 eggs...), and I stayed in bed. I figured he'd be back in a few minutes with scrambled eggs and toast, but about an hour later he finally came in to say it was ready, and I sat down to eggs benedict, from scratch. Honestly. Caleb said that when we're sick we need to eat well. And I didn't argue. It was delicious! I think I'm going to get sick  more often, like, every Saturday.

A few days ago I switched some of my car radio presets to the few stations in the area that are playing non-stop Christmas music and have been listening to it ever since. I paid attention to the lyrics to one of the old classics, Mr. Grinch, and found several one-liner gems. I dare you to use one this next month.

*You really are a heel

*You're as cuddly as a cactus

*You're as charming as an eel

*You're a black banana with a greasy black peel

*Your heart's an empty hole

*Your brain is full of spiders

*You've got garlic in your soul

*I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole

*You have termites in your smile

*You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile

*You're a nasty, wasty skunk

*Your heart is full of unwashed socks

*Your soul is full of gunk

*You're a rotter

*You're the king of sinful sots

*You're heart's a dead tomato splot with moldy purple spots

*Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots (that's my favorite one...I dare you..)

*You nauseate me with a nauseous super-naus

*You're a crooked jerky jockey and you drive a crooked horse

*You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce

10 points if you let me know about it. There are some classics here!