Wait, did I say I popped last week? Huh, cause I like, POPPED this week. Like, it's always out there, and it's still SO hard not to look down and flip out - BUT! BUT! I HAD SALMON AND BROWN RICE LAST NIGHT! I SWEAR!!! Oh.......sigh. That's right. There's a baby in there. I forgot.
It's like one of those bad nightmares you wake up in cold sweats from, only to realize that everything's fine. You're not standing naked in front of your entire senior class, and you're not backstage at your dance concert realizing you forgot to attend practice. It's okay. It's just your baby.
And yeah, that baby is getting larger. Like, 11 inches and an entire pound, and I've definitely felt that this week. Besides having a lovely 4th of July, Caleb really felt the baby move that morning as we lounged in bed, and the little guy has been making himself known ever since. I feel him every few hours a day, usually just kicks (with a little added oomph), but sometimes I swear he's practicing acrobatics in there. On Monday I was sitting at my desk when out of nowhere he decided to see what happened if he pummeled my bladder. I don't think I need to tell you what almost happened, let's just say I have some serious "holding it in" skills. Thankfully. I really didn't want to have to tell my manager that, yeah, hi, I just peed my pants and I didn't even have to pee. And I'm 24. So. Gotta run now. Buh-bye. He also developed his sense of touch, and many sites talked about how they will feel themselves, their face, arms, legs, and whatever else they can get their tiny little hands on. So if I feel a distinctive tug, that's him trying to rope a proverbial cow with the umbilical cord. No worries. While I was browsing the internet for more info I ran across an article about a baby born at 22 weeks that actually survived. I sent the article to Caleb to show him what our baby looks like, but also because even though it's way, way, WAY too early to be born, survival is possible. But we've decided to keep him simmering anyway. You know, to be sure.
On Saturday Caleb and I went to a little baby store down the street, because they carry a couple of the cribs I'm looking at. (Like this one, this one, or, if I could justify it, this one. It's not THAT much more...right?) The style, all sides of the crib one length, isn't very popular, meaning not easy to find. Of course, because there's no way I would enjoy a style that is plentiful AND affordable. That'd just be too easy.
Once I showed Caleb the style I had in mind, we moved on to the stroller / car seat room. Daunting, even at such a small store. Caleb walked in and immediately went to the pretty Peg Perego, the most expensive stroller there, and proclaimed that he LOVED that one. "Yes," I said, "and you will love the price tag." He didn't. Of course. So we continued looking, trying them out, discussing the pros and cons, and then walked out empty handed. I didn't expect to feel so lost about buying baby items, I've always felt like I would just naturally gather what I needed. As the oldest of four girls I felt I had a handle on what you need, what we had, but now that this is about MY baby, it's different. And immersing myself in all things baby, baby magazines, baby blogs, baby websites, seems to have scrambled my logical thinking. My in laws are planning a baby shower while we're visiting later this month and asked me for ideas of what they could get. I haven't a clue what to tell them. Half of the problem is that I'm a little...picky...on the style of things, I'm not a fan of the frogs and trains and smiley faces and such, and don't really know how to convey that without hurting feelings. Or sounding like an uppity priss. Also, we really just have no idea what we want, what we need right away, and what can wait. I'm feeling unprepared and slackerish, which is a really foreign thing to me. I'm a list maker, a scheduler, a don't-go-a-day-without-consulting-my-planner kind of girl, and suddenly I have no clue. No direction, despite the aforementioned immersing. It's like I read the websites, the magazines, look at the lists, and then think, meh. Later. I'll figure it out later.
Pregnancy does some really weird things to a girl.
The other morning I spent a good 10 minutes looking for my car keys. I checked my purse, the table, the book shelf, our dresser, the kitchen counter, and went to pick up the phone to call Caleb, sure he had mistakenly taken them to work again. Then I decided to shake my purse one more time, see if maybe they were hiding somewhere. I heard the familiar jingle and began searching, only to catch a glimpse of them dangling from my left hand. The left hand attached to my left arm. Attached to my body. The same body I'd been using to search for them with.
I haven't told Caleb that story. It's no use now, he already knows I've lost my mind. Hi Cabe! It's me! The one you trust to pay the bills and cook you dinner. We're not in debt and still alive, so...that's all that matters. Right?
I think that's the largest sleep line yet. Maybe because there's more...weight...holding me down. Maybe because we're experiencing such a heat wave (107 anyone?), maybe because I slept on that side the entire night and woke up with a hip / shoulder ache to prove it.
Oh my goodness, the heat. It's 11:33 pm and the house is still over 80 degrees. All I know is Caleb is doing the old Gumby test, and I'm failing miserably. It's so hot though, I don't really care. Just hand over the ice water, please. And a funnel.
The car seat! and the stroller! How does ANYONE decide these things??!! We've spent weeks on these 2 decisions and still nothing. I have NO idea where to go on this one. And it seems like people make them so cavalierly...how, I ask you??
Posted by: turleybenson | July 10, 2008 at 05:49 AM
I completely understand the not being into the "cutesy" baby stuff and know that my parents and in-laws will probably inundate us with those sorts of things. As long as they still have the tags, you can exchange them, right? :)
Posted by: Katie | July 10, 2008 at 06:02 AM
I can't believe the baby almost made you wet your pants!! I can't even imagine what that feels like! Pregnancy is one amazing process!
Posted by: sarah | July 10, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Oh what a cute belly! We can't wait to see you and I'm A-Okay with doing some baby shopping...maybe two more opinions can ease the decision making :)
Posted by: Tara | July 10, 2008 at 02:46 PM
Oh what a cute belly! We can't wait to see you and I'm A-Okay with doing some baby shopping...maybe two more opinions can ease the decision making :)
Posted by: Tara | July 10, 2008 at 02:47 PM
You look great!
Buy the crib you like BEST, you will be able to use it until grandkids come.
(I know that sounds like a 100 years away, but time flies) and every time you use it you won't think "I wish I spent the little extra money and gotten the crib I wanted".
Posted by: kris | July 10, 2008 at 03:50 PM
Shopping pre-baby was maddening. I seriously would feel panicked because we didn't have anything then I would switch to thinking "well what all do you really NEED for a teny tiny baby." Needless to say Ryan built the crib and really finished making it while Payton was still in the bassinet in our room, I was panicked. Get one that you love. I was so glad that I waited for Ryan to build ours, it is special because he made it and I got everything I wanted.
p.s. it is official... you have belly now!
Posted by: Heather | July 10, 2008 at 04:30 PM
I hate to tell you this, but you will keep "popping" out with each week. And, about that bladder, it does get worse. Even after you have Caleb Jr. you'll need to go to the bathroom whether you think you need to or not. Don't chance it--by then it will be too late. Pregnancy is the best! Oh, and I have a Winnie the Pooh outfit I have been meaning to send you--uh, just kidding.
Posted by: Britanny | July 10, 2008 at 10:50 PM
Hey, just a little unsolicited advice...
If I were to do things all over again, I would buy a cheaper crib and get the Peg stroller. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE mine. It's my 5th stroller
(I hated every one I bought until I finally invested) and I'll never go back.
Plus, I've found that cribs really get worn out anyway (scratches, especially if you move) and if you spice it up with cute bedding, there's not a whole lotta difference between a $200 crib and an $800 one. Seriously!
PS Just so you know who I am....I knew the Nelsons when they were on their mission in San Antonio. Caleb might remember me as Emily Busath!
Posted by: Emily | July 12, 2008 at 08:43 AM
I'm sorry I've taken so long to comment on your blog, I've been running a little behind! I was looking at this post last night and when Kami saw the picture she said, "What's that?" And I said, "That's Kim's belly." And she said, "Oh, a baby in the belly?"
I have no idea how she knows that, whether she has any concept of it at all or if she just hears it around here often enough that she thinks EVERY belly has a baby in it, but it's just more proof of how fast they grow up! I love you and I can't wait to see this little guy!
Posted by: Kjersti | July 12, 2008 at 05:56 PM