Wyatt's Story

 

The birth story! Finally! Appropriate, since Wyatt is a week old today. It took a while to write and revise, though I'm sure it's still riddled with things I'll want to change and add to later. I had to have Caleb help me with a large part of it since I either didn't remember things, or forgot the order, or only slightly knew what was going on. It was amazing to go over it with him, and realize how much I didn't know. 

So. It's Monday night, the day before my scheduled induction. We spent the day in a flurry of activity, trying to get everything ready for the next day. We cleaned the house, picked up groceries, made sure all the baby items were ready and waiting, dropped the dog off at the kennel, and then spent the evening at Mark and Bridgette's house, relaxing and enjoying our last child-free night. We stayed late, talking about the next day, and then got home and were finally in bed around 1 am. Crazy, I know, but I figured I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.

Which was right, just not in the way I'd expected.

I lay there in bed, my mind racing with all sorts of holycraptomorrowistheday type of things, and trying to catch a few hours of sleep. Caleb of course, was out like a light. I envy his ability to fall asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow. (Especially now...) Around 2:30 am I felt a contraction, but didn't think much of it, I got up and went to the bathroom and then laid there for a while. They started up again, and by 3:30 I was taking them seriously. It was getting pretty painful. I didn't wake up Caleb however, until the shaking started. That's when I decided this was probably the Real Thing. I wasn't cold, but I was shaking uncontrollably. Sadly, I'd forgotten to warn Caleb that this was a normal labor symptom, because when I woke him up he got really scared. He called Labor & Delivery and they told us to definitely come in. I figured as much, since I'd been at 4cm earlier that day for my appointment. This also solved my What Do You Wear for a 10 Minute Car Ride dilemma, and I threw on my pajamas and slowly walked to the car, having to pause occasionally with the contractions.

"Well, " Caleb said as we were driving to the hospital, "at least we don't have to worry about the early morning traffic!"

It was his way of trying to calm himself down, I was breathing pretty heavily and we were both shaking.

We got to the hospital at 4 am and they wheeled me up to the third floor (so glad I accepted the ride, it was much further than I thought!). This is my favorite part of the labor story, bytheway, and not just because it was the last time I was really "with it". We walked up to the counter and the woman asked us what our purpose was there. I looked at her for a second and said, "Um, I'm in labor." Like, what else would we be doing at the Labor & Delivery desk at 4:00 in the morning ? And she said - get this - "Are you sure?"

If I hadn't have just started a serious contraction, the really great perspiring ones, I'd have throttled her right then and there. Seriously, I remember telling myself to give her a piece of my mind once it was all over.

Was I sure! You've got to be kidding me. 

By about 4:20 they got me settled in an observation room where they hooked me up with all sorts of things, two monitors on my stomach (one for my heartbeat and one for the baby's) and then a nurse came in to check how dilated I was. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "You're at a six!" So off I went to the delivery room, contracting and breathing.

I don't remember a whole lot about what happened next, except that I was in serious pain. The contractions were coming fast, and I was still shaking pretty badly, so that even in between the contractions I could never relax. Sometimes the pain from one contraction never really left before another one started. They asked me if I wanted an epidural, and I said yes. "Alright, we'll call the anesthesiologist," she said, "she'll be here in a half an hour."

I wanted to die. There was no way I could make it another half an hour, was there?!

She gave me something in my IV to "take the edge off" the contractions, and it did, for about three of them. At one point I got sick, though I never threw up, just a couple of really deep dry heaves, which really complimented the contractions, let me tell you what. That was the only time I can remember clearly thinking, this sucks, I can't handle this. The rest of the time, I couldn't think. I tried to focus on something, tried to take my mind elsewhere, but I couldn't. I couldn't talk, couldn't answer the questions the nurse asked, or Caleb asked. One of the only things that helped was that Caleb would watch the monitors and let me know when a contraction was peaking, and then coming down. I would hear that, and it helped me get through the rest of it. I remember not being able to get comfortable, it hurt to be on my back, hurt to not have my knees up, hurt on my side. They gave me oxygen, and I had to take the mask off with each contraction because I couldn't stand to breathe so deeply with it on. I'd start to feel one coming, and I'd rip it off and then I don't know, writhe around in agony. I tried not to make any sounds, because that's how I roll, I didn't want to embarrass myself. I'll admit, I whimpered and whined on several of them, but inside I wanted to scream.

At 6:30 the anesthesiologist finally came in and started getting things set up. About halfway through the procedure the nurse suddenly asked me, during a contraction no less, my hand digging into Caleb's leg, if I was feeling the urge to push. And it was my own dumb fault, but uh, yeah, I was. Had been for the last several contractions. I hadn't said anything, partially because I didn't believe it was time yet, and partially because again, I was out of it. So she stopped the anesthesiologist and laid me back down to check my cervix again. I was at a 9. A 9! I couldn't believe it. They said they could still give me an epidural, though it was a much smaller dose. I contemplated not getting one, I really did, I even remember wondering if Caleb would be disappointed in me if I still got one. But I did. I was exhausted, and not able to relax in between, and I wanted to be able to push. So she did it, and within a few minutes I got some relief. I could still feel my legs, could still move them and feel the cold, but the contractions became pressure.

I was in heaven! The pain was gone! I also finally was able to look at Caleb, something I hadn't been able to do before this point, mostly because I was totally out of it. He didn't look good. He looked worried, and I wanted to tell him it was okay, but I don't know if I ever did.

(This is where Caleb had to do most of the remembering...)

After a few minutes the nurse became alarmed and called for back up, saying she had a "de-cel" situation. When she called the resident doctor on staff she got totally chewed out for apparently calling her after her 6:00 AM shift. "I'm so sorry doctor, I thought I was supposed to call you until 7...well I don't know who trained me...Would you like for me to call the other doctor?" Shortly there after the resident doctor came in, rolled up her sleeves, and got to work. They broke my water and placed an electrode onto the baby's scalp to monitor his declining heart rate. As soon as it was on, 6 or 7 nurses came in to help. They weren't getting the signal that they wanted from the heartrate electrode, so the doctor told the nurse to "cut it". The nurse grabbed a pair of surgical scissors and cut the electric wiring that went to the machine.

Even Caleb knew this wasn't what the doctor had meant. The doctor paused with everyone else in the room when they heard the monitor for the babies heart rate go silent. The nurse stood there with the scissors silently for a moment and then said, "But doctor, you said you wanted me to cut it." There was a chuckle from the nurses and the doctor rolled her eyes and explained that she wanted the electrode reset and replaced. She then had me turn on my side and push when I felt a contraction. Since I couldn't feel much but pressure, and there was pressure anyway from him being so low at this point, I had to put my hand on my stomach and feel when it would get tight. At one point Caleb told me he could see the baby's hair, though I couldn't respond. Each time I pushed, his heart rate went lower. The room got so hectic with so many people in it, that it took a moment for everyone to find their groove. It seemed at the same time everyone was having problems. "Doctor I can't get the light down", and "Doctor, can you count the instruments with me?", and "Doctor I'm not getting a good signal from the monitor", and Caleb's favorite "Doctor, I don't know where Esther put the paper work." Esther was a 70 lbs 4'1'' Asian lady. She angrily piped up with, "I ALWAYS PUT IT WHERE I'M TOLD!"

The doctor barked orders left and right, got everyone in line and into position and she still managed to look at Cabe and I with a smile. Caleb had felt that this doctor was rude and abrasive at first, then he realized that the doctor was actually this way out of necessity. Without her strength and sharp orders all hell would have broken loose at a time when everyone needed to be fast and efficient.

I still don't remember much of this, but I do remember seeing Caleb reach up to pull the big light down for them. He told me later that this was because Esther was trying to get the light down with a hook and she didn't have the arm strength to do it. He watched her struggle as the doctor was shouting "LIGHT ESTHER, I NEED LIGHT!!" The next part I clearly remember is when the doctor stood over me and told me that they were going to use the suction device because his heart rate was very low and they needed to get him out. "If it doesn't work after a few pushes, we're going to have to do an emergency c-section", she explained, and then ran me through the risks of the suction device. I told her it didn't matter, we just wanted him out safely.

And then that was it, it was 7 am and time to push. I couldn't believe it, even then, that it was time. It had all happened so fast. It took three pushes, if I remember right, and I felt him slide out. It was the oddest feeling, and immediately I was overcome with relief. My entire body relaxed, everything went limp. They placed him on my chest and I couldn't even believe it was real, that this was my baby, that it was over. It was like my brain was three steps behind me, not able to process it all. I remember Caleb standing next to me, in awe, and crying. I finally started to cry a minute or so before they took him to be weighed, and I kissed his little forehead as they picked him up. He was here, and he was safe. The cord had been around his neck, the reason for his heart rate decelerating each time I pushed, and Caleb also said he came out head facing up. I am so grateful for modern medicine, and despite the huge round bruise that the suction device left on the back of his head and a cut or two,I wouldn't have done anything different. I would have gladly gone through a C-Section, anything to have him safely placed in my arms.

While they measured and weighed him, I lay there as they delivered the placenta and stitched me up (yes, and ouch!). I remember putting my hand on my stomach and feeling how flat and soft it was. Just minutes earlier it had been huge and hard and filled with a baby, and now it wasn't. He wasn't there anymore.

We'd checked in to the hospital at 4 am, I know because they made me sign my name, date, and the time we checked in, and he was born at 7:04, three hours later.

We had a few quiet minutes in the delivery room before they moved me, and I'll cherish that time forever. Holding my baby, watching Caleb hold him for the first time. It was so beautiful, so wonderful. Caleb said he kept getting emotional and he looked out the window and saw a beautiful sunrise and an orange sky.

We couldn't be more excited. It's been a rough few days, I feel like a zombie as is to be expected, my cell phone has been on silent since the hospital. (Sorry to everyone that's called...I'm getting around to calling everyone back, I swear!) We're loving it though, loving him. He's so perfect, so beautiful, and so sweet. He loves to cuddle and be held tight. He loves it when Caleb rocks him in the rocking chair. We spend hours a day just holding him and staring. Telling each other how much we love him. It's amazing how all consuming it is, how much love you feel for someone you just met. I left him at home with Caleb today while my mom and I went to the grocery store. I was gone for no more than thirty minutes, but it felt like forever. I couldn't wait to get back to him. I get emotional just thinking about him.

My favorite time of day is at night, when Caleb and I sit in bed and hold and rock him. We are so happy.

 

 

Comments

[mary elizabeth]

oh i love this story, and i am glad that little wyatt was able to get here safe + sound. he is such a beautiful baby!

congrats you two!

[Abby]

Oh, so sweet. I know you've already shared all this with me, but it was still so fun to go back and read it and hear about it all again. So sweet that you missed him while you were at the grocery store.
I love it. And I love you!

[Jaden]

I got so teary reading your story! It is such an amazing thing, isn't it?? I am looking forward to having another... Someday! :)

Have a Happy Thanksgiving with your little peanut man :) He is perfect!

[Stacy]

That is such a great story. I was getting a little emotional. I know... shocking. We're so happy for you guys and Wyatt is such a cute little boy. Congrats again!

[Heather]

Such a sweet story and you'll be so glad that you wrote it down in it's entirety. I wrote in my journal every day after the moment both my boys were born. Those are priceless entries. If I had any advice it would be that you write in a journal daily. It is hard, but so worth it. He is a perfect baby and I'm so happy for you.

[sensibly sassy]

I really enjoyed reading this story, so touching. I am so happy for you two. What a beautiful little boy

[Liv]

I can't read blogs at work anymore. They make me cry too much.

What a wonderful story, although I still can't grasp how, exactly, women get babies OUT. How?!

I'm so glad you're doing well and are so happy. Yea for babies!!

[Jess]

Wow.
I am so excited for you guys, and happy that you're so happy! You're such a cute family.

[Leslie]

What a beautiful story...except the IDIOT nurses of course. Don't you wonder sometimes? I had a few like that over the years.

My favorite part of the story is of course the relief you felt when he was in your arms. What a miracle it all is. It is quite a spiritual experience and I am happy you shared it with us.

Congrats again!

[turleybenson]

Ah nurse Esther. I think she's my favorite. So crazy!! THANK YOU for writing this out for all us peeping toms.

[Dr. Cason]

This is what I love with new parents...that they make us remember our childrens' birth stories and we're grateful all over again.

[La Petite Chic]

That was such a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing it with all of us.