So it's not Tuesday, and neither am I 38 weeks. Well, I am, but I'm gettin' closer to 39 weeks and by this point in your pregnancy every millisecond closer to the end totally counts.
I waited to post for a few reasons, one being laziness and the other being that my doctor's appointment wasn't until today because he was out of town. And don't ya'll wanna know my progress just as much as I do?
Well. I understand. You probably don't have a wiggly baby squashing your innards and organs. (If you do, you understand completely.)
I am officially 3 cm, 80% effaced. No contractions to speak of, but plenty of Braxton Hicks. Precisely like last time. And just like last time, my doctor and everyone else predicts I'll have this baby in no time! Within the week! It sounds so lovely, and I would actually gladly welcome this girl within the week, for a multitude of reasons and some of the bigger ones being purely selfish.
Like, my calendar the following week is kinda full of items I'd sincerely like to attend. Does that sound shallow? It might be. But there you go.
So let's see, she's supposed to be nearing 7 lbs, but my hunch is she's not there yet. Wyatt wasn't, and I don't think she is either. I don't know what my weight gain has been this pregnancy because I don't look at the scale, but I don't think I've gained anymore than last time (25 lbs). My doctor thankfully never mentions my weight, and actually hasn't even said what my measurements have been. So different than last time! He did tell me that he doesn't like to let you go over a week overdue because of the fluid levels and such, which I'm sortof totally okay with this time. His guess is that I wouldn't at least be 9 days overdue like last time, but again, trying not to get my hopes up. You don't want to wake up every day disappointed that it didn't happen.
But again. After today (when Caleb gets home from his business trip) this girl is welcome any time. But I should probably get her nursery ready, yeah?
I know I've mentioned this before, but this time is different. I don't feel as physically, mentally, & emotionally prepared as I did last time. It's not like I actually forget I'm pregnant and what that means, it's just not first and foremost in my brain, and I sometimes have to remind myself that there is a little girl coming. Last night I sat on the couch folding the little white onesies I'd purchased and washed that day (90% of my onesies were long sleeve) and I couldn't believe she was going to fit in them. She may even be too small for them at first. Have you seen these newborn onesies?! They're puny! It seems insane that they're truly that small. It's been so long since Wyatt was an infant, I feel like my brain has been erased. I've been trying to remember when he did this or that, when did I move him to his crib from the cradle in our room? How did I get things done again? Changing diapers will come right back to me, won't it? What did I need in the hospital last time? I probably had a bag packed by now last time.
Every once in a while I think about labor, and sorta get freaked out. Was I scared last time? I don't remember. Am I freaked out because I know how painful it is? I've decided to try to go epidural free if this labor seems to be progressing as quickly as last time. I did it once, I can do it (and finish this time) again. But last night I read through my birth story and was like, oh yeah, it really hurt. Like, nausea-inducing pain. And then I remember how wonderful I felt when that little epdiural kicked in (can you ask for a small epidural? I really enjoyed still being able to move), and also how nice it was to be numb for a little while afterward. Ya think I can ask for one AFTER she's born?
I've also been reminding myself that it's okay to get one, too. No one walks out of the hospital with a gold star pinned on their chest for going au natural. I won't be a failure. I'll still have a beautiful baby and that's all that matters.
So let's see, for history's sake, I'm having lots of Braxton Hicks. Hips still hurt. I've been far less swollen this time, thankfully. I'm starting to get really tired again. Wanting a nap in the afternoon. The late afternoon/evening aversion to food from the first trimester is back, randomly. On those days, sometime after lunch food starts to sound filthy. Which means my motivation to cook dinner for the boys goes down the toilet. I've been trying, and a few times I've even still sat at the table with them, being sure not to watch them eat. My appetite returns around 8:30 or 9 pm, when I'll most often make myself a pb&j.
If Wyatt was 90% grown on Subway turkey sandwiches, this girl is 90% pb&j fueled.
I am down to like, 5 shirts. The same 5 shirts, so yes, I'm really looking forward to the part of having a baby where you actually get to start incorporating your regular wardrobe into circulation again. Yesterday I made a quick trip up to the outlets to pick up the short sleeved onesies, and got myself a couple shirts for afterward, and it was hard to remember what size I am! I'm standing there holding a shirt up thinking, would this have fit me before? Will my boobs fit back into this? I can't remember anymore.
Caleb has informed me he's ready for this baby. Wyatt is starting to make sure he includes the baby into his future plans. Yesterday we were driving up the canyon to Park City and Wyatt was admiring the big drop off on his side of the car into a beautiful valley. He told me he wanted to go over there, with me and you and Daddy and the baby. He told my mom this morning that when the baby gets bigger she'll be "a talking girl." Which is....true. He told my little sister he was now going to name her Bug. Better than Ted? Maybe. He does love bugs.
And by love I mean he loves to squish them.
Anyway, we're excited. And hey, I have new bump pictures, but apparently I've filled my computer so full I can't save anything new to it. So I'll come back and add them later, once Caleb gets back and can, ya know, help me with that. Somehow.