Kimba

And no, it's not because of the month

Okay then! So we have a baby. This hospital experience was night and day different than our experience with Wyatt. First off, the nurses were nice. They were genuine. They didn't roll their eyes and act put out that your first post-labor pee trip took a while. They were proactive about pain medicine, water. There were the giant water jugs! Woo! They even gave Caleb one. They were quiet during the nightly vitals checks. They let the babies sleep in the nursery in between feedings, so that you can get some actual sleep. They let us know, and made sure to invite Caleb, to her first bath. (We don't even know if Wyatt had a bath, and neither of us were present for it.)

It was just better, you know? 

Another difference this time was visitors. We had lots! Or so it seemed, last time we just had our good friends. It made it seem a bit hectic at times, but we were glad to introduce our sweet little girl to our friends and family. 

The first night she slept from about 4 am (post bath) until like, 10 am. If I remember right. It was FOREVER, exactly the opposite from Wyatt, who never had that long sleep period after birth. He was up and at 'em, from the beginning. So both Caleb and I got a decent nights sleep. It was amazing! She was also a champion nurser, no issues. So we pretty much hung out, ate, slept, and snuggled this sweet little girl. Who just slept and slept and slept! 

And so far, I'm going to have to agree with those people saying that they could tell their kids personality right from the very beginning. Very telling, those first few days. 

So, the name. We had issues naming this girl. We had two names going into it, and then the day before, or maybe even that same day I went in to labor, I threw in another name. We sat around hemming and hawing, Caleb wrote up every first and middle name combination he could think of (because some of our first names we thought about using as middles and visa versa) and we stared at the manilla notepad until the morning we left. 

Meet June Mabel 

We left fairly quickly, even with the good staff. It's just better to be home, you know? And not 10 minutes after walking through our front door, Caleb buzzed Wyatt's head. Suddenly my boy was a Kid. 

We'd been talking about doing it for a while, and I guess he just decided the day we bring home our infant daughter was as good as any. 

It freaked me out a bit. If you wanna know the truth. 

It's been fun getting used to two kids. Our first little family outing was to my parents on Sunday for a Father's Day brunch, and of course, Miss June had to wear an actual outfit. 

Aren't those chicken legs killer?! Wait till you see her now...

She's here! Obviously!

So! I took a giant hiatus, and I'm sure you assumed I had the baby. Sorry I dropped off the face of the Earth! Obviously tiredness was involved, and it just got easier and easier to put it off, all the while my guilt increased! Mostly because I've been going back often to check my blog when Wyatt was born to compare things, and I've felt guilty for not documenting this for her. 

Anyway. She's here! An entire month old now, which is absolutely nuts. 

Let's start at the beginning, shall we? 

I went in for my 39 week appointment. My doctor told me I was at a 4, and did I want my membranes stripped? I told him sure, last time at a 4 I had my membranes stripped and it probably helped me go into labor, and I figured why not? So that's what he did, and dude. I had it done 3 different times with Wyatt, and it never hurt like that. Granted, this doctor is a bit, um, bigger than my last (tiny Asian lady) doctor, but still. Woah nelly! Caleb even commented afterward that he could tell it wasn't awesome just from watching my face. 

We got home and Caleb ran downstairs to jump on a call to his new employee (who started that day) and I set Wyatt up with some finger paints. The cramps had started, and so had, I could tell, the spotting. I went to go take care of that and discovered that this wasn't just the typical spotting - there was a lot of blood. Not dark blood, lightened a bit, and I grew suspicious. I yelled for Cabe, but of course he was on his call, so I called my doctors office to ask his opinion. He wasn't available so one of his nurses took my question and said she'd get back to me after she talked to me. She called back and said bleeding was normal, and to go in if it's still happening (the actual dripping of fluid) in an hour. (He'd told me at the appointment that if I had any contractions at all, to just head in because they wouldn't turn me away since I was already at a 4.)

So, I set about waiting it out. I realized I didn't have a single pad ("sanitary napkin", if you will) so I ripped into my nursing pad box. 

Hey, it works, right? 

I finished packing my bag. And Caleb's. I had a sinking feeling I wouldn'tbe spending the night at home. I called my mom and told her we'd probably be going in, and could she come down to watch Wy? And then? Well. I hadn't got around to the pre-labor pedicure. 

So I painted my toes. For reals. 

Finally Caleb came upstairs and I asked him to get me a bucket (to soak mah undies). Apparently I should have specified, because he ran outside and grabbed the dirtiest, largest bucket we had. I think he thought I was going to throw up, although wouldn't I have just used the toilet like a normal person? Anyway. I filled him in, and my mom arrived and we sort of explained things to Wyatt, and then off we went. 

It was a rather surreal ride to the hospital. My last ride had been slightly different, in the middle of the night, and peppered with 6 centimeter contractions. This one was fairly calm. It was that calm time of night just before the sunset, and I was for the most part, pain free. 

This is me, right before heading off. I pulled up my hair in anticipation! And wished I hadn't pushed back hair washing day until the next day....I should have maybe hopped in the shower, but oh well. 

We arrived and told the nurses my story, and they set me up in labor and delivery so they could test to see if what was leaking was amniotic fluid. Since it was tinged with blood, they couldn't do the normal test and would have to send it down to the lab, which meant a longer wait. I started having some random contractions while we waited, so I knew we were there to stay. Caleb sent off the obligatory (very flattering...) shot of me in my paper gown to Facebook. 

So of course, the test came back positive and they set about hooking me up to all the machines, and started me on pitocin. We'd arrived at 7 pm, and the rest of the evening was fairly slow. I wasn't progressing much, and while I could handle the contractions, I'd started to have some pretty severe back and hip pain. I tried moving in every single direction I could think of, and nothing helped at all. Couple that with the increasingly painful contractions, and I gave in. I got the epidural. 

And yes, I did feel like I sort of gave up. I tried not to feel that way - there is no gold star for natural labor, is there? 

This labor experience was so much different - it was so odd to just be hanging out and talking and joking with Caleb and the nurses while in labor. I was actually mentally present when I got the epidural, and felt this weird slightly painful electric-like feeling right before he inserted the needle. Apparently normal, but I don't remember it at all from last time. I was sooo out of it. 

It started working fairly quickly, and just as I'd asked, it was really light. I felt like I could have got up and walked around, all while not feeling the painful contractions. I could move and feel my legs, but that back / hip pain was gone. SUCH a relief! And Caleb was loving life, the nurse brought him his own giant mug and informed him that the drink station down the hall had Diet Dr Pepper. So he filled his 32 oz mug, and she brought him snacks. We were just chillin! 

Things went well until my blood pressure, and the baby's, went down. I could tell, I felt faint and cold. They stopped the pitocin and had me lay on my side and put that dreaded oxygen mask on, and after a while we both stabilized. The pitocin was turned back on, and at this point, I was still only a 6 or 7, and we were nearing midnight. (I was watching the clock like a hawk, hoping and wishing and praying to get past midnight, into an even day! I know! I'm still weird about even numbers!) 

The next hang up was the weird feeling I started getting in my arms and upper chest. I stayed quiet about it for a while, until I finally convinced myself that I was in labor, and maybe I shouldn't suck up weird symptoms since maybe it could also be affecting the baby. I typically deal with annoying / bad symptoms because I don't want to be a bother. So I wrestled with myself until I finally mentioned it to Caleb, and then the nurse. They brought the anesthesiologist back in and they turned down the epidural. The nurse checked me again, I was a 7, and she and the anesthesiologist started making bets about when I'd have the baby. It was decided either 3:30 or 4. It was just after midnight. 

They left, and I started feeling the contractions. Suddenly, in conjunction with a contraction, my water broke the rest of the way, and what a weird feeling! My eyes went wide and I told Caleb (I made him check to see that it wasn't blood). After another contraction, and more water gushing, I asked him if he thought we should maybe tell the nurse. I figured that alone wasn't huge news, but suddenly the contractions got serious. I remember with Wyatt feeling the need to push, right when I was getting the epidural at 9 centimeters, but this felt different. I felt like she was literally coming out, that maybe she was going to fall right out. Caleb left and brought the nurse back, and in a matter of minutes I'd gone from a 7 to a 10! 

So I held on (literally!) while my doctor was called and they prepped for labor. It happened so quick, since I could feel the contractions (remember, my epidural was turned way down!) I ended up only needing to push twice, and out she came! 12:41 am on June 14th. Flag Day. 

I remember hearing her first little cry, and I couldn't believe it was over. Just that morning I'd taken Wy to our weekly summer movie, Kung Fu Panda 2. I had plans for the next day, that weekend, the next week even! For some reason I kept filling my schedule because I'd forget, or it just didn't seem real, that any moment we'd have the baby. But there she was! Perfect, pink, and not as tiny as I'd thought at 5 days early! 

20 inches, 6 lbs 4 oz, only 1 once less than Wyatt was at 9 days overdue. She took right to nursing, and was so sweet. We were left alone while they prepped our room (this is always my favorite time of having a baby, right after when we're left alone, to marvel!) and we just couldn't believe she was here. Not having such a rough labor, I was much more involved and mentally there, this time. We were so happy. 

(To be continued)

Book Review: What Alice Forgot

In What Alice Forgot, by Liane Moriarty, Alice wakes up from a pretty nasty fall at the gym to discover she's lost her memory of the last 10 years. She thinks it's 1998, and that she and her husband are over the moon about her being pregnant with their first child. 

In reality, she has 3 children and she's currently in the middle of a rather nasty divorce. 

It may sound like a cliched start of a book, but it doesn't feel that way. Alice is witty, even while trying to figure out what in the world is going on. Her relationships are complicated, nothing like she remembers them. She doesn't remember what current Alice thinks and believes is important, in fact, she can hardly believe the person she's apparently become. 

Maybe this book won't win any grand awards, but in my opinion, the mark of a good book is one that makes you think, makes you re-examine your life. One that sticks with you long after you've turned the last page.

I spent the majority of the time in between reading this book thinking about what it would be like to lose your memory that way. What if I suddenly thought I was 18 again? What would my 18 year old self think of the life I'm leading right now? How insane would it be to feel 18 but still be expected to take care of two children, all while cooking and cleaning and doing the laundry? I can't imagine how overwhelming it would be. 

Most importantly though, what would it be like to told you have two children that you can't remember? How hard would it be to take care of them when you don't remember what does and doesn't work while disciplining them? What your rules are? What their favorite foods are? Nevermind not remembering their births, how it felt to sit at night and rock them to sleep. As a mom of a newborn who enjoys nothing more than to sit and cuddle her as often as possible, how devastating it would be to not remember those sweet moments. 

This is a great read, especially if you feel like you need a kick in the butt to start / continue that journal of yours! I can't be the only one.